Introducing Rosemary

Rosemary Gordon | 8th Novemeber 2022

Hello, my name is Rosemary, it’s nice to meet you. I am a Clinical Sexologist also known as a Sex and Relationship Therapist. By day, I work with an online sexual health service and by night, I see my sex therapy clients. When I’m not working, you’ll find me in the gym lifting weights or I’ll have my nose glued to a book with a glass of Malbec. My book genres of choice will usually include black history, personal development, or business. 


In a previous life, I was the Matron for a large busy Integrated Sexual and Reproductive Health Service, in which there was never a dull moment. After 20 years of working for the NHS, I am excited to be doing something different. The pandemic brought on a sense of urgency about taking life by the horns and pursuing my goals and sex therapy has been a goal 10 yrs in the making.


What I’m hoping to achieve going forward is to challenge cultural scripts which stifle women and prevent us from accessing full agency over ourselves.


I grew up in a Jamaican household where religion was the order of the day. I became curious about the number of single women in the church and the messages preached. 


Sex was never a topic of conversation in our household. As a black girl navigating gender scripts, cultural scripts, religious indoctrination, and silence, I felt like I had been thrown to the wolves without any preparation. My observations, experience, and curiosities led me to a career in sexual health nursing and SRE education.


I am really excited and honoured to work with people who don’t usually access therapy.


Rest is Unproductive!

Rest is like the secret ingredient that turns the ordinary into the extraordinary. It's the magical elixir that refuels your mind, recharges your body, and rekindles your creativity. Some might argue that rest is unproductive, but I dare to differ. In fact, rest is the unsung hero of productivity, silently working its wonders behind the scenes.

When you push yourself to the limit without taking time to rest, it's like trying to run a marathon on an empty stomach. Sure, you might make some progress initially, but eventually, you'll hit a wall and collapse in exhaustion. Rest, on the other hand, nourishes your energy levels, replenishes your focus, and sharpens your problem-solving skills. It's like a power-up for your productivity levels.

Imagine your brain as a supercomputer. Without regular rest, it starts to overheat, causing glitches, slow processing, and a general decline in performance. But when you give it some downtime, it cools down, defragments its thoughts, and optimizes its processing power. Suddenly, you're able to tackle tasks with renewed clarity, efficiency, and a touch of brilliance.

So, rest is not the enemy of productivity. It's the secret ally, the sneaky accomplice that enhances your output and propels you towards success. Taking breaks, indulging in leisure activities, or simply engaging in some good old-fashioned relaxation allows your mind to wander, explore new perspectives, and stumble upon innovative ideas. Who knows, the next "Eureka!" moment might be waiting for you on a hammock.

But don't take my word for it; history is filled with examples of brilliant minds who recognized the power of rest. Leonardo da Vinci, the ultimate Renaissance man, was known for his catnaps between creative bursts. Albert Einstein, the genius behind the theory of relativity, attributed his groundbreaking insights to his habit of taking long walks. Even Thomas Edison, the master inventor, appreciated the value of a good snooze in his quest for innovation.

So, my friend, don't let anyone convince you that rest is unproductive. Embrace the art of rejuvenation, for in those moments of relaxation, you unlock the door to a world of productivity, inspiration, and unparalleled brilliance. Remember, even the mightiest engines need a pit stop now and then to keep running smoothly.

Bathsheba the adulterer!

I recently re-read ‘Purpose Driven Life’ by Rick Warren, a 40 day spiritual guide to discovering your purpose. 

There were so many helpful nuggets in the book it provided a framework for answering the question, ‘what on earth am I here for?’

.

However, on one of the days Warren states everything that happens has spiritual significance and will work for the benefit of those who love the Lord. He then ends by stating Bathsheba committed adultery and implies this was for her good. I find Warrens statement to be a problematic and harmful oversimplification of the story.

.

The narrative of Bathsheba and King David in the Bible indeed presents a complex and troubling story. Bathsheba is depicted as a woman who becomes the object of King David's lustful desires when he sees her bathing. Despite being aware of her marital status and the fact that her husband, Uriah, is an elite soldier in David's army, the king summons her to his presence and sleeps with her, resulting in her pregnancy.

It is crucial to recognize the power dynamics at play in this story. Bathsheba, as a woman in a patriarchal society, likely had limited agency or control over her interactions with

 the king. The narrative does not provide explicit details about her feelings, desires, or intentions. Speculations about her intentions, such as intentionally bathing to lure the king, are not supported by the text and can perpetuate victim-blaming and harmful stereotypes.

 

David's actions can be seen as an attempt to protect himself rather than Bathsheba. He tries to hide his affair with Bathsheba and, when that fails, arranges for Uriah's death to cover up his wrongdoing. Bathsheba is forced into a situation where she becomes a pawn in David's attempt to save his reputation and consolidate his power.

 

The question of Bathsheba's happiness in her marriage to Uriah is an important one. However, the text does not provide explicit details about their relationship or her feelings towards him. It is crucial to avoid making assumptions or speculating about her emotions in the absence of concrete information. Regardless of her happiness or lack thereof, it does not justify David's actions or the subsequent victim-blaming that Bathsheba endured.

 

The labeling of Bathsheba as an adulterer primarily stems from a traditional interpretation of the biblical account that places the blame on her. This interpretation often ignores the power dynamics and the responsibility that lies with King David. Such interpretations can perpetuate a harmful tendency to blame women for the actions of men, reinforcing patriarchal norms and double standards.

 

It is worth noting that the story does continue with Bathsheba becoming David's wife and giving birth to Solomon, who is known as one of the wisest men in the Bible. However, focusing solely on this outcome can overshadow the injustice and harm that Bathsheba experienced, and it should not diminish the significance of her agency and the complex dynamics involved in the story.

To arrive at a more nuanced understanding, it is important to critically examine the cultural and historical context of the biblical account, challenge traditional interpretations that perpetuate harmful narratives, and consider the broader implications for issues such as consent, power dynamics, and gender equality.

.

Read the full story 2 Samuels Chapter 11-12 

In the quiet moments, we witness their strife, Listening to black women, burdened with life. Refusing to let their hurt rise to the light, For fear of how it may dim their radiant might.

Oh, how it breaks the heart to see them hide, Their pain concealed, locked deep inside. Believing that to express is to reveal a flaw, That vulnerability will tarnish the strength they draw.

Tired of carrying the weight, weary and worn, But still, they push forward, resiliently reborn. For society whispers, "Be strong, don't break, Your tears are insignificant, a futile mistake."

Yet, let it be known, their tears hold great power, A testament to resilience in their darkest hour. For in the midst of struggle, they rise above, Nurturing their wounds with an abiding love.

Black women, your tears matter, they truly do, They're not a sign of weakness, but a breakthrough. For in their gentle stream, healing can take place, And strength is not diminished, but finds its space.

Let the world listen, as your tears cascade, For in their flow, a symphony is made. A chorus of voices, refusing to be confined, Breaking the chains that seek to bind.

No longer shall tears be seen as a flaw, But a testament to the strength they flawlessly draw. Black women, embrace your pain, let it flow, For in your tears, your resilience will forever grow.

And know, dear sisters, you're never alone, A collective of souls, united, we've grown. Together we stand, with open hearts and ears, To honor your tears, dissolve your fears.

For the world needs your stories, your truths untold, To break the illusions that they've long held. So let your tears fall, reclaim your voice, Embrace the beauty of vulnerability, the choice.

In the symphony of tears, we'll find our way, Empowered and emboldened, day by day. Black women, your tears are heard, they matter, A testament to strength, an anthem we'll gather.

About the founder

Rosemary is a Sex and Relationship / Couple therapist who offers online therapy for clients across the UK. She is passionate about helping people like you be on the path to a happier, more fulfilling relationship, and life.

Help is just a click away.

Book a free 15 min consultation

Book your free consultation